Forever young - home

Forever young

From Wikipedia - the second single released by Sir Rod from his Out of Order album in 1988. He wrote the song with two of his band members: guitarist Jim Cregan and keyboardist Kevin Savigar. The structure of the lyrics is very similar to a Dylan song of the same title. The two men agreed to participate in the ownership of the song and share Sir Rod’s royalties.

  Both songs are about hopes and fears for their children. This Dylan verse might also suggest a recipe for ageing well, a preparation for inevitable change which is manageable.

May your hands always be busy

May your feet always be swift 

May you have a strong foundation

When the winds of change shift

The Sir Rod version is easier on the ear and has been a favourite of mine since the 1990s.

  Ageing has some benefits. You don’t have to look your best. You don’t have to speak, but when you do, you have permission to say more or less what you like. I’ve had a lifetime of saying the wrong things and it’s no better now. If your friends and relatives are still talking to you, they might fondly regard you as a grump (or in my case a legend - maybe). You might then have some wisdom to pass on if anyone is still listening.

This is a personal blog. I'm not selling anything other than myself - an inept older person who thinks he can write a bit. Use the search to find what you want. There are humorous senior moments, older role models and a plea for us all to stay mentally and physically active. Garden glimpses, family matters, from the archive, publishing/writing, sports, and my notebook. Otherwise the world is our limpet.

There is also a writing archive which needs some work - watch this space.

• Accounts of away days - weeks, overnighters and weekend trips (before blogging)
• Family matters - stories and concerns
• Cricket  stories and articles  
•                         Almondbury Casuals CC - a history of a social cricket team. 
•                         Draft mémoires of a cricket graduate/nothing to play for - an autobiography?
• Draft I wonder where the second team play/escape stories - away days with pals
• Some new skills in retirement 
• On writing

linked sites

• Shallileybooks - a social enterprise publisher - sports, music and local history
• Lear - writing archive (1)
• Shalliley - writing archive (2)
• New Mill Male Voice Choir

Marigold

 Mary's gold

sun bright insect magnet

celebrates life

Foxglove

long stems purple bells

good for the heart an old wife said

take care, such beauty, such poison

Mouse

Mouse

grey fuzzy flits scurries

smaller than the smallest bird

braves the decking-world

 

Away - Ingoldmells and Skegness

It is a regular trip, Andrew's only annual holiday. He fits into the Butlins diversity/variety show, though this time we didn't do much joining in. Still made it to Fantasy Island and Skegness. Sheila and I came down with gastrointestinal disasters (me there and Sheila on return).

Long journey down, though only 15 minutes over recommended time. Due to my remiss lane discipline on the M180. No pub lunch as a result, but stopped just at the edge of Skegness.

On arrival and unloaded we discovered the bars were using plastic glasses throughout the site. We discovered they'd had an E Coli outbreak. So plastic became the order of the day. (There are a lot of bodies in a relatively small space). There was an officious bar lady guarding the door which put us off a touch, until you want a drink.

The apartment was cosy and clean, quite private. 

The Beach

Andrew adopted this caravan on the beach for breakfast. Good cappocino for me. A dredger type of ship just off shore - the Van Oord. We asked workers on land what was happening - "we, the environment agency, are replacing the beach, since 1994 and finish this year." And sure enough there was a big long tube coming up the beach and pumping sand, lots of it.

The central tent complex in Butlins - bars, restaurants, arcades, stages and so on. Not for us this year, but impressive sight, from the beach and from our front window.

Ingoldmells

Walk along the beach. This pic is as close as I want to be, but Andrew took advantage of an inclusive ticket for £24. He quickly got through several 'A' rides to get his money back. The tower is called a shot tower. Something about going up and down very fast. Was there a connection to the making of lead shot bullets - dropping from a height into a tower full of water?

.

Skegness

Weatherspoons and the Tipsy Cow are sites of previous visits. 'Spoons' is good. Log flume is a perennial attraction and very wet. 1898 Jubilee Clock Tower on the front. Always one or two crazy golf rounds.

Following day again walking on the front to the Beachcomber, sitting out with a couple of pints.

So what did we think. Just comes out positive I think. Nice apartment, good self-catered food and drink with pleasant walks up and down the coast.

Sadly the bowels let us down at the finish, but we had already decided this was our last trip. Return journey as awkward as coming, but we made it.

Away - Amble 2024

 

So away up the A19 again and satnav for the last quarter mile or so. First stay here. Newly decorated and very comfortable with a view across the harbour. Very popular market right next to the harbour. I bought a herringbone 'Peaky Blinder' cap. A fisherman said the early mist would not burn off, but it did. The lobster hatchery was closed for refurbishment. 

Strange pod next to the river with information on the birds inside.

One mile walk to Warkworth for coffee, Alnwick for lunch.

The X18 carried us up and down the coast. No need to drive. But, the buses always seem to be late. Not much to do here, but a great place to do nothing. Just sit. The kippers in a bun were selling like hot cakes in the local cafes. 

Usual suspects including beach and golf club. Loads of driftwood for den-building. Pizza for lunch.

We've visited the north east for what seems like forever, since RL's 'Magic' weekend came to St Jame's Park, Newcastle. Never disappoints. Find something new each time - eg. pizza oven. A supplement to the previous posts available on search Alnmouth.

Back to back

Furry flea-ridden tree rat

Destructive unpleasant

Visits daily along wood fence tops

Obese dull-witted 

Un toilet-trained

Flies in and perches

Bird-cage for little feeders only

Finches, tits, robins

Regular decking over-spill 

The squirrel and the pigeon

Debris hooverers

They are all heart

 

The day after my birthday - Jenson's birthday - walking around Holmbridge

Another childbride request to mark my birthday this time, in addition to the family party on Sunday. So overall a good do. The choir once played a Sunday game at the cricket club. It's got a winter feel to it just now. Nice to be out and we were pleased to be able to do the physical side of it. Rained. Bit sore in the afternoon. These views are familiar, recalling the times I took Fern, our retriever, for walks. Pickled Pheasant for lunch. Sleep afterwards. 

 

It continues (3)

                     Tiny yellow-green leaves just arrived

                     Bare birch April branches

                     Regular as clockwork

Arneside. March 2024

After the TV episode about Arneside in the series Villages by the Sea, the childbride requested a weekend visit to mark her birthday. We came here every Spring Bank Holiday when the kids were young as part of a group caravan weekend at Holgates in Silverdale. So a trip down memory lane.

Sykes Cottage, opposite the station and five minutes from the village promenade and hence the River Kent. Along with the viaduct that connects to Grange, these features define Arnside. Low fells in the distance, shops and bars behind.

At first the cottage was inaccessible. A phone call to the owner informed us No2 was hidden behind No1 front door. Upstairs first floor flat, recently decorated, lounge overlooking the station. Very comfortable.

Two days may not seem long, but enough time to visit Carnforth, Silverdale, Arneside Knott and the forshore delights.

And, every 20 minutes. people with luggage appeared, a train rumbled into the station and stopped and then moved on to Carlisle or Lancaster

The Albion. Go-to pub for an early evening drink before getting the bbq going back at Holgates. After there would be a lads v. dads soccer game with spectators and odd additions. I treated all the boys I took one mad weekend to a feed here (Sunley, Dove, Walker, Hutchinson, Cooper).  I slept in the van. They had the awning and tents. They latched onto some girls and pursued them out of the camp. I discovered them under a lychgate at a local church sheltering from the rain. No girls in sight.

The pub is popular with visitors, especially for food, but not with the locals - they go to the wine bar. Wainwrights beer is good though.

The view across the river including the pier, the promenade, quicksand warning sign, the bore and a train on the viaduct. The bore comes up from Morecambe Bay at high tide. It doesn't look much, but it roars under the viaduct. A danger heralded by a noisy warning siren 20 minutes before arrival. Best not explore the sands unaccompanied by an expert. All the years we've visited and this is the first time to see the bore.

The Knott - The highest local point with a great view of the viaduct. Someone has carved a heart.

Holgates - a big operation now with several sites for statics and tourers. Chalets as well. In Silverdale which is much bigger than I remember. Big wood red squirrel.

The Fighting Cocks - the nearest pub to the cottage. Pop inn before evening meal. A tad garish.

Carnforth Station - famous for Brief Encounter. Somewhat tired. There used to be a clock hanging here. It's in someone's garage now and the owner won't release it. We had a brief encounter with Ringo and then parked in Booths supermarket.

Crossfield's Wine Bar - where the locals go. Must be related to the boat builders who featured in the TV programme. Great view of the estuary. Good coffee.

Perfect weekend. Lots of memories. And still, every 20 minutes, people with luggage appear, a train rumbles into the station and stops. People get on and off and then the train moves on to Carlisle or Lancaster.

It continues (2)

 

solid still grey mossy stones stand

trembly breezy spawny rainwater

sane window mad world

It continues (1)

 

robin pairs perch on bare branches

in lighter Spring evenings

time for a fresh start

Tale of three halves

This is a tribute to our relationship - 1947 to 2023 - 76 years.
Apologies if the reader doesn’t recall events quite like I have portrayed them, particularly the dates. Memory isn’t what it was and anyway I have selected the good bits, mostly.
I’ve divided it into three: growing up, growing apart and growing old. The rough and tumble of family life, leaving home and developing our lives, and finally becoming pals and confidants.

Growing up. I have covered these early years in detail elsewhere (family stories). My memory is dominated by arguments between Dad and Steve. Dad was an angry man. He had an invalidity pension from the army for duodenitis which produced bouts of misery. He returned from the war to a family dominated by women and children (Granny Addy, her 3 daughters and 5 grandchildren had supported each other whilst the men were working or away). He did actually return to his pre-war job, but soon left for the ‘electricity board’. Whilst both jobs were in accounts he had no qualifications. I think he must have felt hard done by.
    

        Steve was bright and in 1953 went to Huddersfield College where he joined the rapid stream (taking ‘O’ levels in 4 years as part of trying for Oxbridge). He and dad clashed. Dad was grumpy anyway but Steve couldn’t keep his mouth shut. So we all copped it. Mum’s recurring plea was “Oh, Reg”. We lived in rented housing just outside the town centre. Despite apparently not having much money, in 1953, Dad bought a house in the suburbs. The arguments continued. I lived at the bottom of the food chain. Dad was unforgiving of my slightest error. Steve referred to me as the cretin. I do have fond memories of family holidays, caravans and holiday camps at Filey and Scarborough. Christmas was also a period of respite.

        

Growing apart. Steve progressed to the sixth form, specialising in the sciences. His hobbies were jazz, classical music and astronomy. He became a snob and had a girlfriend. In fairness he followed rugby league. University then, another girlfriend. Not home as much. Still fighting with dad. Started smoking cigarettes around this time. Married Hazel. Job at the university. So he’d left home. Though we had a super family caravan holiday in The Lakes. Walking and drinking in pubs (I’d be about 15).
    

        I followed him to what was now New College (amalgamation of the old one with Dad’s Hillhouse ‘redcaps’) and we shared 2 years (1958-60). I also followed the sciences, (biology instead of maths). Not a happy time for me in third, fourth and fifth years. Every end-of-term report was a nightmare, after doing so well at the beginning. I looked up to Steve. Writing like him. Saying stuff he said. Even followed him to Liverpool. There was also divergence as I was heavily into rugby union and pop music. I married Sheila in 1972, just after leaving university.

        Dad mellowed as more grandchildren came along. We got by.

        So this was the period for establishing our families and careers. Didn’t see a lot of each other - family visits and gatherings though we did meet supporting rugby. We even went to Paris for an England-France RU match. Steve was a tad arrogant - he thought the Wembley cup final was a home fixture for Widnes RL (won the RL Challenge Cup 5 times between 1964-84). My perception of Steve then was of a solid family man and he remained so for the rest of his life. In 1980, we took Mum to The Wembley RL cup final Hull derby. Train there and back same day. Queen Mother in attendance. Hull KR won. Mum sat between us - proud doesn’t cut it.

New College

Paris International

        His university career had always been a mystery to me, though he did give hints in moments of self-reflection. There were other bits I learned during his first illness (Oboe), but no need to dwell on them. The names in the piece have been altered. I'm Dyce, short for Dyson, son of David (like Rebus and Morse). He recovered after a rocky few days on intensive care.

Growing old. Any differences of opinion had gone. Just 2 old farts with common baggage and interests. We became closer after Mum and Dad died. Sorting stuff out. Grieving together.

        There are many highlights: The Lords tour (Lords) , The Anfield tour (Anfield), narrow boating, a lazy session at The Baltic Fleet down on the Liverpool Docks (Baltic Fleet). I have to mention my role in helping with information about Steve’s life-changing and threatening medical conditions. Phone consultations which I christened Steve’s medical textbook.

        We went all over on the boat. Steve didn’t want to drive initially. However, I had an episode with the toilet one morning and he had to take over (we didn’t stop). Couldn’t keep him off the tiller then. Gave advice to all and sundry, telling them not to worry if they made a mistake. Trent and Mersey, Llangollen, The Oxford. A famous trip on The Thames to Abingdon when Louise and Steve saved a boat from crashing; with help from some local lads. We'd got mixed up with a regatta.

Baltic fleet

 2023 New Year event

And we had the final chapter in Durham (Durham). His second trip to intensive care.

Short pleasant weather window amongst some unpleasant stuff.
Time for brother Steve to bow out.
*******
He had already gone.
But he would have the last breath.
Well we had switched him off.
We were all there,
Funny thing that last breath.

 

Changes in the weather

Breezy free swirly circling leaves

                                                     Rain-sodden grounded clumps                                                    

 Not a turn for the worse 

Successful ageing (2)

The author with his grandson

Initial article here - https://www.shallilo-foreveryoung.org/2021/06/successful-ageing.html

And plenty other sites, including examples like Helen Mirren and Clint Eastwood. This can be overdone and we all now know the benefits of exercise, meditation, new experiences and keeping in touch with friends and family. It's now obvious we have equal amounts of despair and happiness, and we must tailor expectations to what we can do and don't worry if we don't make it. We know all this now, but easy to forget.

This week it's the turn of Suzy Walker and Sir Muir Gray, Telegraph 30th Jan 2024 - 'It's not healthy to act your age'. Getting fit is the prime consideration. 'Change your attitude to ageing.' How? Challenges like learning a language, becoming a volunteer, join a committee. I'm not personally keen on these. What about having positive ideas about ons's own ageing - how? Not a lot of answers.

A purpose? For me short pieces like haiku and a pic get me started. I've no great target. But these simple things, along with what (eg shopping, housework) has to be done, keeping up with social life and a hobby (singing) and I'm close to needing a rest. And I haven't exercised yet. "I'm good" must be the standard reply to health queries. What's gone is gone and tomorrow hasn't happened yet. When there is despair - let it drift away whilst you stay in the moment.

I came across thoughts on anxiety, mine. I frequently hear 'there's nothing for ageing'. Well there is that. But victimhood is not a good look either.

Get over yourself.

Christmas/New Year 2023/24

Bitterly cold moments

Honley Ladies at Huddersfield Market - I had to keep moving

Two squirrels short of food

Warmer moments

Scarborough: St Mary's, Freddie's spa tribute, New Year's walk

Filey Bay distillery (price of flagship up £5 so I didn't)

 

New year 2023-24 curation

Deepak Chopra - how to meditate, Times 6th Jan.

'Ask yourself why you don't meditate .... I got bored, I wasn't getting enough out of it, my life is too busy, I wish I could find the time,'

Meditation is not a quick fix - not a mental health pill.

Meditation returns you to a state you are supposed to be all the time - simple awareness; quiet undisturbed relaxed but alert.

'Sit down in a quiet place where you won't be disturbed. Sit comfortably, preferably in an upright posture. Take a few deep breaths, (centre your attention on the heart, maybe, but as long as there is attention to somethin

g, I think it's okay). 5-10 minutes to start. Don't rush back to activity. Repeat during the day.

[Reminds me of 'the sit' beloved of Simon Barnes. Stillness. Awareness of the senses, seeing and hearing. Let intrusive thoughts come and go. Keep coming back to the here and now.]

Steven Bartlett's rules for success, Telegraph 28th December. [flexible, practical, achievable]

Keep goals small and consistent and open-ended. No need to complete them.

Being fit is about consistency not intensity [for me exercise is always work in progress].

'Happiness is a direct result of managing expectations'. [Not many people know what happiness is. We probably have equal amounts of happy and unhappy, so words like fulfilment and contentment try to fill the gap. Melissa Twigg, Times, 30th December, introduces words like pleasure, enjoyment, satisfaction and meaning.]

I don't have an answer, but the discussion with yourself may help. Don't beat yourself up when the wheels come off.

So same old, but with latitude. Lets everyone give ourselves a break. 

It reminds myself of the school report quote 'He sets himself low expectations which he consistently fails to meet'.

Peta Bee again 13th Jan - ... why walking is the best way to get fit.

It's replaced coffee as the elixir. Anxiety, back pain, strength of bone and muscles, enhance flexibility and prolonging your life. Wow. Add nasal breathing, silence, weighted vest or rucksack, intermittent power intervals and it's a double wow.

Some late curation

Em's latest effort with classmates and teacher

Joe Pinkstone - Telegraph 31st Oct - Get angry if you want to get the job done

Anger boosts performance on difficult tasks, not easy ones. Unsurprisingly, life is not solely about the pursuit of happiness and overall positive emotions. What we really need is an emotional mix including negatives - Prof Heather Lynch. The harder the task the stronger the anger the more success.

Charlotte Lytton - Times 4th Nov - How to tackle the winter blues.

Get outside first thing in a morning - exposure to bright light first thing improves people with SAD and lowers the likelihood of psychiatric conditions.

Take vitamin D until March - 10 mag per day

Get a light box??

Keep exercising - releases dopamine and endorphins to lift the mood.

Make plans: don't hibernate. Even when you don't feel like it.

Rachel Carlyle - Times 4th Nov - Can music really help to boost your brain?

Listening to music releases dopamine and serotonin, the body's antidepressants. Particularly music that produce chill and spine-tingles. Chilled-out music also makes you more creative by encouraging new neural connections.

Bittersweet and moving music, not relaxing, best for pain, strength of ibuprofen, 

The key is to engage the parasympathetic system which can also be achieved in second phase of a 4:6 breathing pattern or 6 breaths per minute. 5 minutes a day for anxiety, as good as meditation

Avoid vocals to help sleep.

Music we like most, best for keeping brain younger, especially music from our youth. Good for dementia.

 

Durham - late autumn sun

Deep blue cloudless sky

Dominant grey stone cathedral

Smooth tree-lined calm reflective river Wear

Bubbling fast-flowing restless weirs

Narrow winding streets, open squares

Short pleasant weather window amongst some unpleasant

Time for brother Steve to bow out

*******

He had already gone

But he would have the last breath

Well we had switched him off

We were all there

Funny thing that last breath

 

dostadning (death dealing) - Swedish tidying up before you die

 curation -  The Times - Oct 14th

Margaret Magnusson talks to Alice Thomson

Death dealing - tidying affairs and clutter before you die. Supposedly a fun thing and start early. Don't expect everything to be sorted out by your kids: they will be upset enough. So get rid of useless items before you leave the stage. While you still have the energy. And celebrate what they meant to you. Pass stuff on to people who would benefit and appreciate it. Otherwise trash or charity shops. 

    Start with clothes then photos and other personal items. Organise the finances. Talk to the family.

    Don't complain and do what you enjoy. Ailments and disappointments are boring.

Time and Tide - Scarborough Oct 2023

 

Scarborough sun and smiles

strollers surfers dogs clock cafe people

the day after Babet

We were warned tot to go.

Not only a visit to the clock but the Filey distillery as well. Went by no.12 service bus round a few villages - Cayton, Muston, Grisethorpe and Hunmanby. There's a stained glass place somewhere there which we will try and find again. Good food at the whisky spot. And it would be churlish not to buy a bottle of 'Flagship'.

Garden glimpses (7) Robinia - vision of colour soon to fall

  autumn wind in the trees

breathy whisper in the leaves

 hearable spite the breeze