Celia Walden, Telegraph, May 10th.
Will new condom reverse the tide of STIs in the over 65s?
A range of garden-themed condoms for older Brits to practice safe sex.
They come in seed-style, naughty veg packaging (onions, avocados, plums, artichokes and courgettes are not left out). Sustainable of course. 'Horniculture'.
Apparently there's a surge in STIs at this age.
Police stations filled with drunken seniors. Alleyways clogged with geriatric brawls. Retired couples ignore son's advice "Take a taxi dad". You could go on.