This week it was about what to call people and things of a certain age (Rose Wild, March 18th, 2017). 'Getting a life' comes to mind. Cars' ageing classes are very precise and not to be mucked about with (veteran, classic and vintage). Human classification is more flexible. Experience and expertise influence the word used in addition to the amount of time involved. A veteran broadcaster for example may not have retired. Itoje, England's lock forward, is 'old beyond his years', which I think means precocious. The Times house style discourages 'old', 'aged' and 'elderly'. Here are some alternatives:
codger a fish that lives underground, comes out at night and has TB
fart gaseous pelvic effluent or a committee member of a rugby or golf club
curmudgeon a bird that reviews films
scrote small, reclusive, wrinkled, unpleasant but has got balls
geriatric mouse takes three wickets in three balls
grump a tiger that bites your arse
grouch exclamation when a tiger bites your arse
fogey obscure green thing up your nose
pensioner he who writes letters on his mistress
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| We are not allowed to mention certain words but this opening partnership's combined ages was more than the opposition's total |
Anybody got any other suggestions?
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